Have you heard of Deep Listening? Here Tiba Khalifa, from Libya, describes how she gained this important skill during our 90 Youth Voices programme.
I was intrigued when I first saw ‘Deep Listening’ on the agenda for the British Council’s 90 Youth Voices programme. What could it mean? I assumed it was about identifying challenges and brainstorming solutions as youth leaders. But what happened changed my perspective entirely. For the first time, I listened to myself talk! I truly listened—not just to others but to myself.
As someone who usually does the listening, I thought I already had it figured out. I’m a debater, so I carry the confidence that I’m an excellent listener. I ‘listen’ to the challenges young people face across my country and work to get them talking - mobilising them to take action through debates and forums. Little did I know that my understanding of listening would be completely transformed by what I learned about deep listening during the workshop.
When it comes to youth stepping up as leaders and taking on responsibilities, many essential skills come into play. Adaptability is crucial, enabling young leaders to navigate rapidly changing environments and challenges, whether it involves shifting strategies during community initiatives or addressing global issues. Strong communication skills are also vital to persuading policymakers and decision-makers, helping youth articulate their vision and rally support for their causes. Collaboration and creativity drive the ability to design impactful solutions that leave a lasting impression through grassroots campaigns, social media advocacy, or international programmes like 90 Youth Voices. Together, these skills empower young leaders to create meaningful change.
What amazed me most about Deep Listening was realizing it is so much more than just hearing words. Deep Listening is about truly understanding perspectives, emotions, and underlying challenges. For leaders - especially those working with youth - it’s a transformative skill. It builds trust, fosters authentic relationships, and creates a space where people feel valued and heard. This, in turn, encourages collaboration and sparks innovative ideas.
Deep Listening wasn’t just an activity for us; it became a defining part of our journey. I know this because I’ll be sharing how it impacted me and my group for years to come. It bridged generational divides, making every participant feel that their contributions mattered. This kind of engagement lays the foundation for meaningful change. When leaders genuinely understand the needs and aspirations of youth, they are better equipped to co-create impactful solutions.
During the workshop, I worked with an incredible participant from Ukraine. Through practising Deep Listening, by first discussing our favourite animals we ended up discussing our fears and hopes. A seemingly light-hearted exercise quickly turned into a profound conversation. For me, the connection was surprising and deeply personal: my favourite animal symbolises calmness and strength, yet my biggest fear challenges that very serenity. This exercise allowed us to explore vulnerabilities in a way that felt safe, creative, and collaborative and led us to envision creating a safe space for youth - a place free from war and fear. The idea was inspired by the profound sense of connection and hope the workshop left us with… that feeling of happiness from listening and being listened to. The collaborative energy in the group was remarkable, and I am confident this project will grow into something truly powerful.
The workshop also had a deeply personal impact on me. I was asked a simple question: What’s your favourite place? Without hesitation, I said, ’The beach.’ I expected to be interrupted, but instead, the group gave me those crucial seven seconds, nodding in encouragement. As I continued, I shared more than I ever thought I would. I spoke about my connection to the beach - my astrological sign is Cancer - a water sign, about how the shore represents the challenges I face as a leader, and how the waves symbolize the ups and downs of life. To my surprise, I found myself sharing something I’d never said aloud. The beach, while a place I love, also frightens me. The waves, which bring joy, also remind me of the struggles that have pushed and pulled me throughout my life. For the first time, I laughed and cried simultaneously, overwhelmed by the realisation that I had been truly heard. This experience reshaped the way I understand listening. From that moment on, I began incorporating deep listening into my projects and everyday life. As a law student and debater, I’ve learned to look beyond what is being said and pay close attention to what is happening. This workshop taught me to listen closely, to empathise, and to create spaces where others feel truly heard.
Three simple actions transformed the way I lead and connect with others:
Hmmm, nod your head, and give seven seconds for the person to finish speaking keeping a warm understanding eye contact. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to spark meaningful change.
